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Infidelity: Consequences and Aftermath

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SUMMARY

This series is sponsored by our friends Mira and Daniel Stokar.

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to an anonymous guest about infidelity and its consequences and aftermath. Additionally, we receive the expertise of clinical psychologist Dr. Malika Bhowmik, on re-establishing intimacy after violations of trust. 

We love to tell teshuva stories that have perfect and happy endings, but sometimes the most meaningful teshuva does not fix all of one’s problems immediately. In this episode we discuss: 

  • What does it mean to save a relationship that can no longer continue?
  • How does one rebuild their religious identity after having their “good guy” image destroyed?
  • Should an unfaithful spouse “come clean,” or should they “bear the brunt of the guilt” in secret?

Tune in to hear a conversation about how we can strengthen our essential relationships and revitalize the excitement, joy, and sweetness of our religious lives. 

Interview with our anonymous guest begins at 16:10.

Interview with Dr. Bhowmik begins at 1:49:00.

Dr. Malika Bhowmik is a clinical psychologist in private practice, where she works with individuals and couples. Dr. Bhowmik received her doctorate in clinical psychology at the Graduate Center at City University of New York, where she wrote her dissertation on “A Grounded Theory Investigation of the Subjective Responses From Partners in Couples Where Infidelity Has Occurred.” Dr. Bhowmick was mentored by Esther Perel, LMFT, one of the most acclaimed thinkers and therapists on relationships, especially after crisis. 

 

References:

Sin•a•gogue: Sin and Failure in Jewish Thought by  David Bashevkin

ברגז רחם תזכור by David Bashevkin

Sexaholics Anonymous: White Book

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First by John Kim 

Lamentations 5

Genesis 3

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis A. Spring

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel