Begin exploring
today’s
biggest Jewish
questions…
×
When a Parent Becomes Estranged
In this episode, we talk to a father and daughter who were estranged and then reunited.
Summary
Our Intergenerational Divergence series is sponsored by our friends Sarala and Danny Turkel.
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to a father and daughter who were estranged and then reunited. We also speak with Adam Pollock, the estrangement specialist who inspired them to reconcile.
In this episode we discuss:
- Are there specific struggles that lead to estrangement in the Orthodox Jewish world?
- How do we handle the tension between the need to heal and the need to be right?
- How do we avoid regression once family members have been reunited?
Tune in to hear a conversation about our essential and unchanging identities that transcend our circumstances.
Interview begins at 20:50.
Adam N. Pollock is the founder of Aaron’s Legacy, where he specializes in mediating family estrangement using a blend of ancient wisdom and modern conflict resolution techniques. Since 2015, he has helped individuals and families navigate some of their most painful relational fractures with compassion, rigor, and creativity. A former attorney and business executive, Adam brings decades of experience in negotiation, arbitration, and high-stakes decision-making to his work as an estrangement mediator. He holds a B.A. in Psychology from The George Washington University and a J.D. from the University of Pittsburgh, and is the author of Secrets From the Legal Pad (2023).
References:
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict by Joshua Coleman PhD
Third-Party Peacemakers in Judaism: Text, Theory, and Practice by Daniel Roth
For more 18Forty:
NEWSLETTER: 18forty.org/join
CALL: (212) 582-1840
EMAIL: info@18forty.org
WEBSITE: 18forty.org
IG: @18forty
X: @18_forty
WhatsApp: join here
Recommended Podcasts
podcast
Finance Debate: Larry Rothwachs and Leslie Ginsparg Klein
David Bashevkin moderates a discussion on finances within the Orthodox Jewish community.
podcast
Frieda Vizel: How the World Misunderstands Hasidic Jewry
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Frieda Vizel—a formerly Satmar Jew who makes educational content about Hasidic life—about her work presenting Hasidic Williamsburg to the outside world, and vice-versa.
podcast
Joey Rosenfeld: Can Mysticism Heal Us?
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Joey Rosenfeld, social worker and kabbalist, to talk about the differences between mysticism and rationalism and the roles they should play in our lives.
podcast
Michael Eisenberg: Iran, USA, Israel: What Comes Next
We talk to Michael Eisenberg about the state of the Jewish People in Israel and the diaspora.
podcast
A Debate Between Yitzchak Blau & Itamar Rosensweig: Does Morality Exist Outside of Judaism?
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, David Bashevkin moderates a debate between Rabbi Itamar Rosensweig and Rabbi Yitzchak Blau on whether morality exists independently of Judaism.
podcast
AI & Halacha: On Transparency and Accountability
Rabbi Gil Student speaks with Rabbi Aryeh Klapper and Sofer.ai CEO Zach Fish about how AI is reshaping questions of Jewish practice.
podcast
Rav Moshe Weinberger: Can Mysticism Become a Community?
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Rav Moshe Weinberger, rabbi and educator, to discuss the role of mysticism in modern-day Judaism.
podcast
Haviv Rettig Gur: ‘Hamas is upset the death toll in Gaza isn’t higher’
Haviv answers 18 questions on Israel.
podcast
Marc B. Shapiro: Where Does Orthodox Judaism Come From?
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to author and historian Dr. Marc B. Shapiro about the blurry borders that distinguish Reform, Conservative, yeshivish, Modern Orthodox, and the many other Jewish sects from one another.
podcast
Yosef Bronstein: Only for Chabad? Modern Orthodoxy and the Rebbe
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Yosef Bronstein—a rabbi, writer, and scholar—about the philosophy of Chabad and the Lubavitcher Rebbe.
podcast
Matisyahu: Teshuva in the Spotlight
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to musician Matisyahu Miller—known as “Matisyahu”—who has publicly re-embraced his Judaism and Zionism since October 7.
podcast
Menachem Penner & Gedalia Robinson: A Child’s Orientation
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Rabbi Menachem Penner—dean of RIETS at Yeshiva University—and his son Gedalia—a musician, cantor-in-training, and member of the LGBTQ community—about their experience in reconciling their family’s religious tradition with Gedalia’s sexual orientation.
podcast
Infidelity: Consequences and Aftermath
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to an anonymous guest about infidelity and its consequences and aftermath.
podcast
Oshra Koren: ‘If this is not redemption, I don’t know what is’
Rabbanit Oshra Koren joins us to discuss Torah, Israel, and how Hasidic stories wake the heart.
podcast
Einat Wilf: ‘Jews Are Never Allowed To Win, and Arabs Are Never Allowed to Lose’
The true enemy in Israel’s current war, Einat Wilf says, is what she calls “Palestinianism.”
podcast
David Bashevkin: My Mental Health Journey
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, David Bashevkin opens up about his mental health journey.
podcast
Jonathan Rosenblum: ‘Would you want to live in a country run by Haredim?’
Talking about the “Haredi community” is a misnomer, Jonathan Rosenblum says, and simplifies its diversity of thought and perspectives.
podcast
Aliza and Ephraim Bulow: When A Spouse Loses Faith
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Aliza and Ephraim Bulow, a married couple whose religious paths diverged over the course of their shared life.
podcast
Joshua Leifer and Shaindy Ort: How Progressive Activists Rediscovered Traditional Jewish Life
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Joshua Leifer and Shaindy Ort, married progressive activists who are reembracing traditional Jewish life.
podcast
Dr. Moshe Koppel: Halacha as a Language
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Moshe Koppel, professor of computer science at Bar-Ilan University to discuss some of the ideas in his books Judaism Straight Up and Meta-Halakhah. We discuss how to conceptualize the halachic system and explore how Halacha’s development can be seen through the prism of language and…
podcast
Aaron Kotler: Inside the Lakewood Yeshiva
We speak with Rabbi Aaron Kotler about the beginnings of the American yeshiva world.
podcast
Ayala Fader: How Do Haredi Jews Deal With Religious Doubt?
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Ayala Fader—an anthropologist who studies American Haredi communities and their “hidden heretics”—about the personal, familial, and communal factors that pull us toward and push us away from different Jewish communities.
podcast
What Garry Shandling’s Jewish Comedy Teaches About Purim
David Bashevkin speaks about the late, great comedian Garry Shalndling in honor of his 10th yahrzeit, which is this Purim.
podcast
Dr. Ora Wiskind: How do you Read a Mystical Text?
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Dr. Ora Wiskind, professor and author, to discuss her life journey, both as a Jew and as an academic, and her attitude towards mysticism.
Recommended Articles
Essays
3 Arguments for God’s Existence
Perhaps the most fundamental question any religious believer can ask is: “Does God exist?” It’s time we find good answers.
Essays
What Korach Teaches Us About the Future of Unity
Jewish unity does not require agreement. It requires learning how to listen.
Essays
How the Lubavitcher Rebbe Teaches Us to Transcend Ourselves
I consider the Rebbe to be my personal teacher, and I find this teaching particularly relevant for us now.
Essays
Diving Into The World of Mysticism
Joy and meaning can be found not only despite the brokenness, but even because of the brokenness.
Essays
What I Found at the Best Book Sale of the Year
Reporting live from Jerusalem, here’s what’s happening at Shavua HaSefer—in photos.
Essays
5 Ways Korach Shows How Communities Avoid Hard Truths
The aftermath of Korach’s rebellion is not primarily about punishment. It is about what happens when a community is confronted with its…
Essays
The Israeli Peace Activist and Religious Leader You Need to Know
Rav Froman was a complicated character in Israel and in his own home city of Tekoa, as people from both the right…
Essays
A Letter to Children Estranged From Their Parents
Children cannot truly avoid the consequences of estrangement. Their parents’ shadow will always follow.
Essays
A Brief History of Jewish Mysticism
To talk about the history of Jewish mysticism is in many ways to talk about the history of the mystical community.
Essays
Why Is Meir Kahane Making a Comeback Among Orthodox Jews?
Israeli minister Itamar Ben-Gvir wears the mantle of Kahane in Israel. Many Orthodox Jews welcomed him with open arms.
Essays
Ehud Banai’s Guide to the Soul of the Land
Where Parshat Shlach asks us what we see in the land, one Israeli musician helps us hear what it has to say.
Essays
Between Modern Orthodoxy and Religious Zionism: At Home as an Immigrant
My family made aliyah over a decade ago. Navigating our lives as American immigrants in Israel is a day-to-day balance.
Essays
A Letter to Parents of Intergenerational Divergees
Children don’t come with guarantees. Washing machines come with guarantees.
Essays
Do We Care Too Much? Furor Sanandi and Our Desire to Heal
From Freud through today, our desire to heal asks us to consider why we care so badly—and maybe if it’s hindering the…
Essays
Can Censorship Edit Our Past?
It isn’t only censorship that creates the narrative of our history, but it is every creative endeavor that we engage in.
Essays
Army Service is Essential for Every Jew: Letter From an IDF Combat Soldier in Gaza
Yes, the Israeli army needs Jews to draft, but more than that, Jews need to experience what it means to serve.
Essays
The Bookstores That Taught Me Jerusalem
A tour of some of Jerusalem’s used bookstores, which tell a story of a city’s readers, wanderers, and regulars
Essays
It’s Not About Kahane. Here’s Why Jews Support Ben-Gvir
Their motivations are not ideological extremism but a basic survival instinct to protect their families from the past’s failed paradigms.
Essays
Can Nature Teach Torah? R. Yerucham Levovitz Thought So.
In the eyes of the great architect of the yeshiva world, the world itself is a Torah text—and we ought to study…
Essays
Is Israel the Future of Judaism? Israeli and Diaspora Jews Weigh In.
Israel is clearly important to Jews. The question becomes: To what extent?
Essays
‘Are Your Brothers To Go to War While You Stay Here?’: On Haredim Drafting to the IDF
A Hezbollah missile killed Rabbi Dr. Tamir Granot’s son, Amitai Tzvi, on Oct. 15. Here, he pleas for Haredim to enlist into…
Essays
‘Don’t Wait as Long as I Did’: Seven Stories of Aliyah
A 94-year-old Holocaust survivor, a lone soldier, and more. Here are seven olim sharing their stories of aliyah.
Essays
The Words They Left Behind
If You’re Reading These Words is a book in which all the heroes have died, yet it overflows with life.
Recommended Videos
videos
An Orthodox Rabbi Interviews a Reform Rabbi | Dovid Bashevkin & Diana Fersko
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we speak with Diana Fersko, senior rabbi of the Village Temple Reform synagogue, about denominations…
videos
Steven Gotlib & Eli Rubin: What Does It Mean To Be Human?
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast—recorded at the 18Forty X ASFoundation AI Summit—we speak with Rabbi Eli Rubin and Rabbi Steven…
videos
We Asked Jews About AI. Here’s What They Said.
This series, recorded at the 18Forty X ASFoundation AI Summit, is sponsored by American Security Foundation.
videos
Is Modern Orthodox kiruv the way forward for American Jews? | Dovid Bashevkin & Mark Wildes
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we speak with Mark Wildes, founder and director of Manhattan Jewish Experience, about Modern Orthodox…
videos
Matisyahu: Teshuva in the Spotlight
We talk to Matisyahu, who has publicly re-embraced his Judaism and Zionism.
videos
Jewish Peoplehood
What is Jewish peoplehood? In a world that is increasingly international in its scope, our appreciation for the national or the tribal…
videos
Rachel Goldberg-Polin and Jon Polin: How Torah Gives Us Faith and Hope
In this special Simchas Torah episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we speak with Rachel Goldberg-Polin and Jon Polin—parents of murdered hostage Hersh…
videos
A Reform Rabbi Interviews an Orthodox Rabbi | Dovid Bashevkin & Diana Fersko (Part 2)
In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, David Bashevkin answers questions from Diana Fersko, senior rabbi of the Village Temple Reform synagogue,…
